The importance of empathy
By Izza Haziqah - September 01, 2014
I've realised this. Most people fail to accept or understand a simple truth: not everyone is the same.
That, and we get annoyed and overly confused when people don't see things the way we do. It happens all the time, sometimes without us knowing. "Wait, what? What do you mean you don't like pop music?!" "You're trying to say that... You actually find Twilight good??" "You actually enjoy listening to all these singers scream their heads off into your ear?" "Your parents allow you to go home at 12am? That is so weird..." "She's so overly sensitive about the smallest things. It's so dumb." "Why does she take so many selfies?! Damn annoying!" When we're not used to being told of a certain idea, our judgmental side will tend to crop up and if our mouth is quicker than our heart and mind, we would only hurt and offend.
Personally, I tend to think a lot about things all around me, and then I would express these thoughts. The latter part more than the former, I believe. I mean, who doesn't think about the weirdest and seemingly most unnecessary things at unusual times, right? I'm pretty sure the human mind does that more than often. Thing is, while everyone owns somewhat generally similar thoughts, we all express them differently. Some of us express through writing (ahem), others may express them through echoing (like quoting, reblogging, retweeting or rewriting), and there are some who may not even feel the need to express them at all. Expressing is something done differently. We may all be human, with us is the same beginning and the same ending. But we're different in our own unique selves, and we express things in our own unique ways. There are those who express staying on the surface, those who express with such ultimate depth.
People are brought up in various ways, and went through all kinds of experiences. That, along with many other factors, shape our beliefs, behaviours and actions. Something so peculiar to us may be standard to another. Think about it, us Singaporeans find the ban of chewing gum perfectly normal, but to people in other countries, it can possibly be the most weirdest thing ever. And for a more extreme case: take a woman who is staying in an emotionally abusive relationship; we may find her absolutely stupid for staying in the relationship, but how do we know for sure we will not act similarly in the exact same situation? (Plus, simply telling her she's being stupid will not help. At all.) It's all about perception, and one's willingness to view things differently from another angle.
Sure, sometimes there are things that just seem way too abnormal to us, and they clash violently with what we believe in. In that case, here enter the importance and appreciation of silence and considerate speech. Before commenting, it's best to question the necessity of it. Afterwards, put it across such that it won't hurt or offend. Some people feel very strongly of certain things so you'll never know if simple "unserious" comments are sharp enough to cut deep.
What I'm trying to put across here is the importance yet undervalue of empathy. With society in general (especially multi-cultural ones), empathy is important wherever and whenever. Contrary to popular belief, it is not impossible to express our opinions and free speech without empathy. With friendship, empathy strengthens the ties and makes arguments easier to handle. It raises the chances of eliminating any tension or unexpressed frustration.
I believe empathy to be really essential, it breeds trust and propagates harmony. It helps a lot in solving problems and issues, as well. If people were to invest more effort into their empathy, an inkling tells me many of the world's social problems will cease. InsyaAllah...
That, and we get annoyed and overly confused when people don't see things the way we do. It happens all the time, sometimes without us knowing. "Wait, what? What do you mean you don't like pop music?!" "You're trying to say that... You actually find Twilight good??" "You actually enjoy listening to all these singers scream their heads off into your ear?" "Your parents allow you to go home at 12am? That is so weird..." "She's so overly sensitive about the smallest things. It's so dumb." "Why does she take so many selfies?! Damn annoying!" When we're not used to being told of a certain idea, our judgmental side will tend to crop up and if our mouth is quicker than our heart and mind, we would only hurt and offend.
Personally, I tend to think a lot about things all around me, and then I would express these thoughts. The latter part more than the former, I believe. I mean, who doesn't think about the weirdest and seemingly most unnecessary things at unusual times, right? I'm pretty sure the human mind does that more than often. Thing is, while everyone owns somewhat generally similar thoughts, we all express them differently. Some of us express through writing (ahem), others may express them through echoing (like quoting, reblogging, retweeting or rewriting), and there are some who may not even feel the need to express them at all. Expressing is something done differently. We may all be human, with us is the same beginning and the same ending. But we're different in our own unique selves, and we express things in our own unique ways. There are those who express staying on the surface, those who express with such ultimate depth.
People are brought up in various ways, and went through all kinds of experiences. That, along with many other factors, shape our beliefs, behaviours and actions. Something so peculiar to us may be standard to another. Think about it, us Singaporeans find the ban of chewing gum perfectly normal, but to people in other countries, it can possibly be the most weirdest thing ever. And for a more extreme case: take a woman who is staying in an emotionally abusive relationship; we may find her absolutely stupid for staying in the relationship, but how do we know for sure we will not act similarly in the exact same situation? (Plus, simply telling her she's being stupid will not help. At all.) It's all about perception, and one's willingness to view things differently from another angle.
Sure, sometimes there are things that just seem way too abnormal to us, and they clash violently with what we believe in. In that case, here enter the importance and appreciation of silence and considerate speech. Before commenting, it's best to question the necessity of it. Afterwards, put it across such that it won't hurt or offend. Some people feel very strongly of certain things so you'll never know if simple "unserious" comments are sharp enough to cut deep.
What I'm trying to put across here is the importance yet undervalue of empathy. With society in general (especially multi-cultural ones), empathy is important wherever and whenever. Contrary to popular belief, it is not impossible to express our opinions and free speech without empathy. With friendship, empathy strengthens the ties and makes arguments easier to handle. It raises the chances of eliminating any tension or unexpressed frustration.
I believe empathy to be really essential, it breeds trust and propagates harmony. It helps a lot in solving problems and issues, as well. If people were to invest more effort into their empathy, an inkling tells me many of the world's social problems will cease. InsyaAllah...
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