Having never been a weak student in my entire life until only recently, I am honestly at loss of what to do. Numerous people have told me to buck up, continue practicing, don't lose faith and so on.. But for me, I think it takes more than self-belief and effort when it comes to doing well in studies. Knowing that there's something missing in the equation of excelling in studies, it spirals me further downwards into the pit of confusion.
It makes me wonder: what exactly caused me to do so well in primary and secondary school? Was it the love of what I'm learning? Well, I love the subjects I'm currently studying, too. Maybe it's the teachers? There's little wrong with the teachers in AJC. Were the subjects so easy back then? OK, in comparison to 'A' levels subjects, 'O' levels' seem like a slice of pie, but I had expected such a high difficulty level, if not higher. Possibly the JC environment? But literally everyone stresses on the importance of studying. Everyone.
Could it be that I lack motivation? In Irsyad, I was very motivated to do well. I had peers to help in their studies, a point to prove (Madrasah students can excel in academic subjects) and many more reasons... ...that, I realize, has little to do with myself.
Maybe that's it. I lack motivation. I mean, I am even hardly appealed by the sparkly image most tertiary students have of a university life. And the drive from competition has never really taken me anywhere. My parents still serve as motivation, but I know the things they want the most from their children do not include a report card with stellar results or straight A's.. Where does that put my studies then? How else do I motivate myself?
It's not that I don't try, but maybe I'm not trying hard enough to do well in an exam setting. I truly appreciate the knowledge I am given; in lectures and tutorials, I am sincerely awed by mathematical concepts, chemical reactions, literary techniques and the world of economics. But when it comes to the application of ink on paper with time constraint, I am weakened. My heart just isn't there.
Nevertheless, I know and believe God placed me here definitely for a reason. A post with little conclusion. May God ease the affairs of every struggling student...
It makes me wonder: what exactly caused me to do so well in primary and secondary school? Was it the love of what I'm learning? Well, I love the subjects I'm currently studying, too. Maybe it's the teachers? There's little wrong with the teachers in AJC. Were the subjects so easy back then? OK, in comparison to 'A' levels subjects, 'O' levels' seem like a slice of pie, but I had expected such a high difficulty level, if not higher. Possibly the JC environment? But literally everyone stresses on the importance of studying. Everyone.
Could it be that I lack motivation? In Irsyad, I was very motivated to do well. I had peers to help in their studies, a point to prove (Madrasah students can excel in academic subjects) and many more reasons... ...that, I realize, has little to do with myself.
Maybe that's it. I lack motivation. I mean, I am even hardly appealed by the sparkly image most tertiary students have of a university life. And the drive from competition has never really taken me anywhere. My parents still serve as motivation, but I know the things they want the most from their children do not include a report card with stellar results or straight A's.. Where does that put my studies then? How else do I motivate myself?
It's not that I don't try, but maybe I'm not trying hard enough to do well in an exam setting. I truly appreciate the knowledge I am given; in lectures and tutorials, I am sincerely awed by mathematical concepts, chemical reactions, literary techniques and the world of economics. But when it comes to the application of ink on paper with time constraint, I am weakened. My heart just isn't there.
Nevertheless, I know and believe God placed me here definitely for a reason. A post with little conclusion. May God ease the affairs of every struggling student...
