It's unbelievable but believe it: the summer holidays are actually over and now the new academic year is coming up. I hardly ever make things like new year resolutions, but I somehow felt the want to make a short and simple list of things I'd like to do or improve on for the upcoming new year as a Year 2 undergraduate in uni. Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that I'm a university student, because to internalise having such incredible privilege can take a difficult and long time. But I'm thankful for that difficulty.
So anyway, here's the list.
1. Do my readings early and consistently, throughout the entire semester.
I feel like this is no problem in the first few weeks of the sem. But after the break in recess week, I usually fall back on my readings and I neglect them, leaving them to be read and studied only before the exam period comes, which will usually be too late to properly internalise whatever's taught. Seniors and peers say this is okay, because it doesn't usually affect one's essays and exams, but I still feel bad because I'm really missing out on the learning and knowledge. So here's to more consistency in doing readings.
2. Talk to more professors and tutors while humbly learning from them.
I LOVE interacting with my professors. For some reason I did this less in my second sem of year 1 compared to my first sem, even though I did make the effort to talk to them in both semesters. I can learn so much from my profs and tutors, and sometimes it doesn't even have to do much with literature. I hold a lot of admiration for individuals who work hard on what they love, and these people are great examples of such individuals. Looking forward to turning this resolution into a reality.
3. Start essay plans earlier, and always consult people for help and advice.
Please do yourself a favour and do essays early, Izza. The thing about me is that I actually struggle with an insane amount of self-doubt and self-criticism when it comes to my studies. This problem often hinders my essay progress because I'll always think what I'm about to produce is crap. I'm learning to overcome this, though. Hopefully I can then start my assignments much much earlier so I can have more time for other things.
4. Rajinkan diri solat sunnah lebih.
I feel like the environment in NTU Muslim Society really advocates the act of carrying out rawaatib prayers and it's truly an amazing and beautiful thing. A lot of people will do the sunnah prayers after the obligatory ones, even if they don't usually do it and it's out of social pressure. I'm guilty of that 'cause I hardly do sunnah prayers unless I'm in NTUMS or Irsyad or mosques. I hope that can change and I'll be more consistent, have more istiqaamah, in carrying out sunnah prayers.
5. Rajinkan diri baca Qur'an lebih.
This, for some strange and even repulsive reason, is actually really hard for me. I find it hard to read the Qur'an at least once every day. I literally have no excuse for this besides possibly my own laziness and lack of true understanding, so I pray that I'll overcome that and be more active in reading the Qur'an. It'll help me in so many ways.
6. Have a healthy work-study-fun balance.
The balance is such where work and study is on one side and fun dominates the whole other side. HAHAHA juuuuust kidding (not really).
7. Regularly tend to my social battery and social needs.
Being the strong extrovert that I am, I need my people time. I'm not sure if this is seen as shallow because the internet seems to really romanticise introverts and villianise extroverts, but it's a real need. Being alone or at least being without the right people can really cripple my mental and emotional self. Here's to making time for the people who matter because it matters greatly to me.
8. Write more.
This is something extremely personal but I really do hope to write more stories throughout the coming semesters and beyond. Even if it's a mere sentence or an obscure plan, it matters.
9. Enjoy the learning more and don't be too obsessed with the grades.
Alhamdulillah, for me the former comes easy. I absolutely love what I'm studying and every time I learn something I just become giddy with excitement and pleasure. But sometimes, the latter ruins it. My desire to score, while well-intended, sometimes tarnishes the initial desire to learn sincerely and deeply. I direct more energy and thought to impressing the examiner rather than focusing on my growth as a literature student. I become dejected and demoralised when I get unsatisfactory results, and this leads to me feeding my own self-doubt as a student in general. I'll end up thinking a lot of cruel thoughts like seeing myself as stupid and undeserving of a place in university. It's all really ugly, so I really hope I won't go down that dark spiral, at least not too often. And it starts with placing more emphasis on the beauty of learning not the ugly obsession with grades.
10. Have more faith in myself.
As mentioned, I struggle a lot with heavy self-doubt towards my own capabilities as a student. It's something I've always struggled with, since secondary school. I have this crushing mentality that I'm not smart enough, I'm not good enough, and I can't possibly produce anything that's worthy. Despite the many times I've proven myself wrong, tangibly through major exams like STE, O levels, and A levels, the self-doubt still creeps up on me and drowns me under its suffocating pressure. I honestly don't know how to solve it entirely, but talking it out and seeking advice has always, always, helped. It was what helped me through the past, and I'm positively certain it'll help me in the present and future. I hope that this coming year, while I talk it out with people I trust, I gradually learn to trust myself and have more faith in my capabilities as well. It's definitely difficult, but it's not impossible. Gotta keep telling myself that.
Here's to the new year. Bismillah!
So anyway, here's the list.
1. Do my readings early and consistently, throughout the entire semester.
I feel like this is no problem in the first few weeks of the sem. But after the break in recess week, I usually fall back on my readings and I neglect them, leaving them to be read and studied only before the exam period comes, which will usually be too late to properly internalise whatever's taught. Seniors and peers say this is okay, because it doesn't usually affect one's essays and exams, but I still feel bad because I'm really missing out on the learning and knowledge. So here's to more consistency in doing readings.
2. Talk to more professors and tutors while humbly learning from them.
I LOVE interacting with my professors. For some reason I did this less in my second sem of year 1 compared to my first sem, even though I did make the effort to talk to them in both semesters. I can learn so much from my profs and tutors, and sometimes it doesn't even have to do much with literature. I hold a lot of admiration for individuals who work hard on what they love, and these people are great examples of such individuals. Looking forward to turning this resolution into a reality.
3. Start essay plans earlier, and always consult people for help and advice.
Please do yourself a favour and do essays early, Izza. The thing about me is that I actually struggle with an insane amount of self-doubt and self-criticism when it comes to my studies. This problem often hinders my essay progress because I'll always think what I'm about to produce is crap. I'm learning to overcome this, though. Hopefully I can then start my assignments much much earlier so I can have more time for other things.
4. Rajinkan diri solat sunnah lebih.
I feel like the environment in NTU Muslim Society really advocates the act of carrying out rawaatib prayers and it's truly an amazing and beautiful thing. A lot of people will do the sunnah prayers after the obligatory ones, even if they don't usually do it and it's out of social pressure. I'm guilty of that 'cause I hardly do sunnah prayers unless I'm in NTUMS or Irsyad or mosques. I hope that can change and I'll be more consistent, have more istiqaamah, in carrying out sunnah prayers.
5. Rajinkan diri baca Qur'an lebih.
This, for some strange and even repulsive reason, is actually really hard for me. I find it hard to read the Qur'an at least once every day. I literally have no excuse for this besides possibly my own laziness and lack of true understanding, so I pray that I'll overcome that and be more active in reading the Qur'an. It'll help me in so many ways.
6. Have a healthy work-study-fun balance.
The balance is such where work and study is on one side and fun dominates the whole other side. HAHAHA juuuuust kidding (not really).
7. Regularly tend to my social battery and social needs.
Being the strong extrovert that I am, I need my people time. I'm not sure if this is seen as shallow because the internet seems to really romanticise introverts and villianise extroverts, but it's a real need. Being alone or at least being without the right people can really cripple my mental and emotional self. Here's to making time for the people who matter because it matters greatly to me.
8. Write more.
This is something extremely personal but I really do hope to write more stories throughout the coming semesters and beyond. Even if it's a mere sentence or an obscure plan, it matters.
9. Enjoy the learning more and don't be too obsessed with the grades.
Alhamdulillah, for me the former comes easy. I absolutely love what I'm studying and every time I learn something I just become giddy with excitement and pleasure. But sometimes, the latter ruins it. My desire to score, while well-intended, sometimes tarnishes the initial desire to learn sincerely and deeply. I direct more energy and thought to impressing the examiner rather than focusing on my growth as a literature student. I become dejected and demoralised when I get unsatisfactory results, and this leads to me feeding my own self-doubt as a student in general. I'll end up thinking a lot of cruel thoughts like seeing myself as stupid and undeserving of a place in university. It's all really ugly, so I really hope I won't go down that dark spiral, at least not too often. And it starts with placing more emphasis on the beauty of learning not the ugly obsession with grades.
10. Have more faith in myself.
As mentioned, I struggle a lot with heavy self-doubt towards my own capabilities as a student. It's something I've always struggled with, since secondary school. I have this crushing mentality that I'm not smart enough, I'm not good enough, and I can't possibly produce anything that's worthy. Despite the many times I've proven myself wrong, tangibly through major exams like STE, O levels, and A levels, the self-doubt still creeps up on me and drowns me under its suffocating pressure. I honestly don't know how to solve it entirely, but talking it out and seeking advice has always, always, helped. It was what helped me through the past, and I'm positively certain it'll help me in the present and future. I hope that this coming year, while I talk it out with people I trust, I gradually learn to trust myself and have more faith in my capabilities as well. It's definitely difficult, but it's not impossible. Gotta keep telling myself that.
Here's to the new year. Bismillah!
